Interlude 30.

Interlude 30. The fractured Prince

He is, and he is not. Of course he is scared, who wouldn't be? I would be, if I were a boy.
What did they expect from love? From life? What is a girl for a boy?

Yesterday, she says to him "I want you". And guess what? He want her too. The problem? He is virgin, she isn't. Crap!
During all the night, because he couldn't sleep, he thought of how he would manage to sleep whit her... No, no, no, first, he had to know what to wear and because he was curious, he started wondering what she would wear. He would enjoy if she could wear black underwear, not too sexy, maybe with lace? Or she could wear colourful ones, it would be less... Ceremonial? Yeah but, it would be their "first time" and he really wanted it to be as perfect as possible. For the first time in his life, he beg god to teach him rapidly how to make a girl scream from pleasure. He was atheist but this night, he could be compared to the most fervent of every catholic and he was prying silently "Oh fucking god, please, explain me what to do! If you exist, please help me and I swear I never cheat on her... Not that I have any intention on that but... I could even promise to marry her... Yeah, I would do that if you, please, can make me the best lover in the earth!"
Thanks, nobody could heard him.
Once again, he rose from his bed and went to his bag, looking for the condoms he had put in. Once again, he stared at it with a face between utter disgust and greatest curiosity ever. Okay, let it be clear, he has masturbated, quiet a few time in his life, like every boy in this world who was about to reach eighteen. Speaking of that, why did his girl, or better, how did his girlfriend finds out that making love was a good present to offer him for his birthday? Fuck! It was only a stressful responsibility which had led him insomniac! For the one hundredth time at least this night, he buried his head on his hand and moaned.
But to come back to masturbation, which was the main subject, he wasn't completely unaware of sex and thing like that. Sure he had watch a few pornographic movies but all he remembered was the girl, screaming "Yes fuck me deeper" and he sincerely doubt that his girl friend would said so. He hoped she won't!
His ex's had always said he was a good kisser and all his teachers agreed saying he learned fast. He was indeed, pretty skilled in a lot of thing. But we speak about thing that could be learn in a book, as if love could be.
Again he watched the condom and sighed. And what if the "thing" didn't woke up? Oh goodness! He would be ashamed until this end of his life! He wanted to laugh at himself, wasn't he ridicule? In fact he has a beautiful girlfriend that loved him as much as he loved her, she was kind, patient and with a huge sense of humour. No doubt that she would relax him by saying something funny. She was the kind of girl who doesn't really mind, she would only smile and everything would be okay. Dear, he loved her so much and he didn't want to fuck up everything.
He went back to his bed and started staring at the ceiling, it was four o'clock in the morning and he was unable to sleep! fuck, fuck, fuck! He groaned and tied to think at something else. And what if he get over excited and come to early? Before she could even be pleasured? What if she decided she didn't want him any more? No, she loved him, right? But still...
He remembered all the time they and turn on each other, playing this adult game of discovering how is made the opposite body. Touch her, let her touch him, kiss her everywhere, hear her laugh when he found a sensitive spot. After all, isn't it was just a little thing, to go just a little further?
And to think that he has spend hour speaking about sex with his friends, most of them had been already getting laid. They seemed so self-assured? Was him the only one to wonder that kind of thing?
Did she was worried too? He wanted to call her but he wouldn't do it, he was a man!
He slapped his hand on his forehead and smiled, he was just so tired! Observing the celling, he started to make different scenarios, a lot when he was a great lover, and other when nothing get the right way... And then, when his brain was too exhausted to think right, came her image, her smile as she said "I want you"... And everything was okay.

Je ne pense pas que seules les filles aient des angoisses là dessus XD.